Get In Your Home

Dear Juice,

I have this problem you see…. Lately I have been going to the bar a lot,
leaving little time to hang out with some of my other friends. They keep
giving me crap about how I’m always there and don’t know how to find my
way to other places, like their house. It is true that I go out a lot, but
its hard being a Whitey…if you know what I mean. Sometimes drinking is
the only way to let out my anger and aggression against others, without
hurting them. If I don’t get this aggression out, something as little as
glasses left behind may set me off into a rage. I’m starting to think
“them” are starting a conspiracy against me. I’m guilty yes but how do
I cover that up? I don’t have bloody gloves that can get me acquitted.
What do you suggest I do?

-An “Innocent” drunk whitey

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Dear Whitey,

I sympathize with your friends. I used to have a white girl that would hang out with me too. Then she started hanging out with Ron Goldman. Lets just say youll want to start hanging out with your other friends more and leave Ron before "something bad happens."

-Juice